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Mayo

May 6

Natakot ako sa Ikalimang Hakbang, dahil ang ibig sabihin nito ay pagbunyag ng aking pinakamadilim na lihim sa ibang tao. Ako ay takot na tanggihan dahil sa pagiging hindi perpekto, naglagay ako ng labis na lakas upang itago ang katotohanan, kahit wala naman talagang tumatanggi sa akin, ako ay namumuhay na malungkot at nag-iisa.

Nang napagtanto ko kung gaano kasakit ang magpatuloy sa pamumuhay sa ganoong paraan, nakahanap ako ng Isponsor at humingi ng tulong. Ginawa namin ang Ikalimang Hakbang, at ibinahagi ko ang ilan sa aking mga katangian at pag-uugali na nakita kong partikular na nakakahiya. Nagsimulang tumawa ang aking Isponsor. “Nakita mo,” mabilis niyang paliwanag, “natatawa ako dahil limang taon na ang nakakaraan ay sinabi ko ang parehong kataga sa aking Isponsor, halos bawat salita!”

Hindi ko akalain ang pagiging pangkaraniwan ng aking mga karanasan. Hindi ko nahulaan na, sa pagbabahagi ng aking pakiramdam na kakaiba ako sa ibang tao, matutuklasan ko ang aming mga pagkakapareho.

Paalala ngayong araw

Marami ang nakakaalam ng kahihiyan at takot at marami din ang nakakaalam ng galak. Ang pagbabahagi ng akin sa iba ngayong araw ay gagawing mas maayos ang aking paglalakbay sa buhay.

“Sa kaibuturan ng aking pagkatao nagkaroon ako ng pagkamulat na walang tunay na kapayapaan ang mangyayari sa aking sarili hanggang sa mailabas ko ang aking problema at makipag-usap sa ibang tao tungkol dito…”

As We Understood….

(Sa Aming Pagkakaunawa….)

English Translation

I was intimidated by Step Five, because it meant revealing my darkest secrets to another person. Afraid that I would be rejected for being less than perfect, I put so much energy into hiding the truth that, although no one rejected me, I was as isolated and lonely as if they had.

When I realized how painful it was to continue living that way, I found a Sponsor and asked for help. We worked the Fifth Step, and I shared some of my characteristics and attitudes that I found particularly shameful. My Sponsor began to laugh. “You see,” he quickly explained, “I’m laughing because five years ago I said the same things to my Sponsor, almost word for word!”

I would never have imagined the universality of my experiences. I would never have guessed that, in sharing what I felt made me different from other people, I would discover how alike we all really are.

Today’s Reminder

Many have known shame and fear and many have known joy. Sharing mine with others today will make my ride through life a smoother one.

“Deep down I had the nagging knowledge that there would be no real relief from myself until I could bring my problem out in the open and talk to somebody else about it… ”

As We Understood….